Hope

Today my 20 years old daughter called with sad news.  A dear friend lost his father today.
On the day of one of his sons' high school graduation, while at the graduation, he suffered a heart attack and died.  He was a father, a husband, and a medical doctor.
My daughter's friend, Trevor, flew home from college, called a friend who lives in Sacramento, and got a ride home...to a home that will never be the same. I did not know his dad, I do not know his mother, or his brother but, I know him. I know he is a kind person, a goofy, fun-loving college kid, and a loyal good friend to my daughter. I know that much of the reason he is that person, the one that we respect and care about, is because of what his father gave to him. He gave him 1/2 of who he is genetically, much of who he is lovingly, and faithfully. He provided all he could educationally for his sons. They attended the best private catholic schools available.
We will do what we can for Trevor, which is painfully little.
I have to find a lesson in this.  When I think of the suffering of this family and the pain they will be living with...I have to find a lesson or purpose or lose some of my faith.  I do believe they will be reunited. Retaining my faith in God's promise of eternal life is not in question. Retaining the faith that this life has valuable purpose is what is shaken. What helps us maintain a feeling for purpose here...in this life?
For me...the number one thing...my children and my husband.
What I am going to do is, once again, reiterate to my children, and my husband, what meaning they bring to my life.  I will remind them how much meaning and purpose they have given my life. I want them to know that when I die, I die having lived a wonderful life, full of their love,  my family's  love. My last thoughts will not be of any suffering or regret. My last thoughts will be of hope. With my last breath I will hope that they, and my grandchildren if there are any, will fill their lives with purpose. They they serve their family, and their friends. That they realize that the people around them matter, that serving them matters. That they keep the open hearts they have and accept  the love that others offer to them.  I will hope that they will strive to be the best people they can. I will hope that they develop and achieve dreams...  That they learn some dreams are for the journey not for the accomplishment...That whatever they seek in life does not keep them from enjoying what they already have. This is the legacy I hope to leave...a family that understands faith, and the value of life, love, and hope.
I imagine that Trevor's dad's last thoughts were...perhaps a bittersweet pride, pain of knowing they will be separated from him for a while. But imagining his thoughts I feel just that ...hope. Hope that his family knows that they gave his life meaning.  They made his life matter.  Hope for their futures.
Prayers for tonight...for families everywhere...especially those separated by death. May they find and know in their hearts the meaning and purpose they bring and have brought to those who care about them.