What is in my head tonight?

Tonight I am thinking about the 40th anniversary of the Kent State shootings. I just read an article about several things that were in the FBI report that had not previously been released.
There was some evidence that the riots from the previous days and the protest that day were better planned than originally thought. It reminded us that the guards were there because of the fact the rioters had set fire to the ROTC office there. More importantly there was some information that might make one believe that there may have been reason for belief on the part of some of the guardsmen that they had been fired upon first. I am thinking about how this incident effected not just the families of those who regrettably lost their lives, but also the lives of these guardsmen. I am sure that the guardsmen were there to protect property and maintain "the peace". I doubt that any of them had any idea of what that day would become. I suspect that their families expected them to come home the same people they were when they left home that morning. I am very sure that all of them were very changed by what occurred. They were not the same people when they went home.
I am a strong believer that none of us become who we are in a vacuum. I know many of my beliefs have been shaped by the fact I am in love with and have lived with a law enforcement officer for 29 years. Our wedding anniversary is in 5 days. I worked as a communications clerk/dispatcher for the sheriff's department for close to 5 years. This gives me an insight that might be different from another persons.
When a law enforcement person is killed in the line of duty I hear people say, "he knew the risks when he took the job". While this is true, officers do know the risks, this does not make what they go through or what their families go through any different from anyone else who suffers pain or loss. We are proud to love men/women that want to protect others from harm. In some ways it may make the loss even harder.
When the bad guys shoot at an officer just because he is wearing a badge they are shooting at a guy who is just doing his job. It is honorable work. He probably has a wife, children, and a dog that love him and expect him home at the end of his shift. He is trying to put a kid through college by working an extra shift, his car is in the shop for repair, and he may need to pick up a loaf of bread on his way home. They are people. The only real difference is that they are trained and sworn to protect others even at a cost to themselves.
Most officers believe they are helping society by protecting property and lives
When an officer has to take a life to protect himself or others he is not somehow protected from the pain of having to do so. After an officer involved shooting often you will hear that an officer is on admin leave. Often it sounds like this is because they are investigating what ever it was that went on. The assumption by many is that this implies that the officer did something wrong. Admin leave is needed by these officers to help them recover from the trauma of what they had to do. Yes, the department does investigate all officer involved shootings.
The deputies are human and having to discharge their gun or being shot at still effects them the way it would anyone else. Their training helps them weigh their response and take appropriate action. It does not somehow immunize them against being human. I could go on forever about how TV shows and the media have vilified law enforcement and in doing so have hurt society. There are bad cops...just like there are bad doctors, or bad electricians. Despite what media shows, the overwhelming number of police officers, sheriff deputies, highway patrolmen are honorable people. Teaching your child to respect law enforcement is one of the best things you can do for them. If a child gets lost finding a police officer is a safe thing. If you are pulled over by the police they are pulling you over because they are worried about safety, not because they are "out to get you". A big hint here parents...they do have some power. Speaking politely to an officer is always a good idea. Also...never run from the police. They will catch you and their adrenalin will be high and they will be angry for having to chase you!You may get hurt.
Ok, that is why I called this my "ramblings".
Back to Kent State. When I was in school the image of the incident put in my head by my teachers was one of peaceful students just standing around and singing. They put daisies into gun barrels and just wanted all of us to love one another. The guardsmen were portrayed as poorly trained people who were pretty much just looking for a reason to shoot some of these beautiful, peace loving students. I was not told about the riots. I did not think about the fact these guardsmen would have to live with what happened. I wonder what happened to them. Did they, did their families survive this tragedy? How did it change them and those who loved them? Did those who knew them give them the support they deserved and needed?  Not because what happened was right, but because they were human beings. Can you see how many more victims there really are to morn here?
So...that will be my prayer for tonight.  May peace be with them all.