The Family

I belong to the France Family.
I belong to a big, beautiful, loving family.
To tell you much about them I would really need a full book not just a blog page.
The family, above all else, is about unconditional love.
It is about wanting to genuinely know what each of us have been doing in our lives, what has made us feel happy, what are the challenges we face, and can we help by sharing a burden.
It is about hugs...lots and lots of hugs.
A family reunion took place this last weekend. There were 8 uncles and aunts, 19 first cousins and their spouses, kids, and grand kids.There was food, lots and lots of food. There was laughter, there were tears.
There were little kittens to pet, tractors to drive, motorbikes to ride, swings to play in, badminton birds to hit , tether balls to swat, bird feeders full of birds to watch, goats to milk, bikes to ride, fires to sit around, beers to drink, cigars to smoke, mountains and prairie to marvel over, dogs to scratch, and dirt to play in. There was even more food. There were lots of conversations.
I occasionally took a break from the hugs, eating, and conversation to enjoy standing back and just taking in what was before me. My family.The voices and the faces of my family.

We talked about living, dying, and everything in between.

Over the next few days I will probably blog about a few of these conversations. Some of them were big and important and some were small but just as important. All of them highlighted how connected we all are to each other.

The conversation that comes first to mind is about my Aunt Helen. She was on everyone's mind much of the reunion due partly to the fact that she was the only living family member of that generation to not be in attendance at the reunion. She may not have been there physically, but she was fully there in spirit.
Linda, my cousin, is Aunt Helen's daughter. Linda, her husband, her children, and grand children, carried Aunt Helen with them to the reunion in their hearts. Aunt Helen has stage four Parkinson's disease and is now living in a care home. Her body is failing her. Her spirit is not. Linda told me that even with the suffering her mom is content. Linda related that her mom had taught her how to live in grace and dignity and is now teaching her how to die with grace and dignity.
Aunt Helen was an educator. She was once a teacher and a school principal. She had taught advanced mathematics and chemistry.
Her mind no longer lets her access that knowledge. Much of what she has learned and known is no longer accessible to her. That is...the things she knew with her mind.
The things she learned and knows in her heart, those she still recalls with remarkable clarity. She is left with the ability to recall scripture. When Linda reads part of a passage to her Aunt Helen is able to finish it. Linda will sit and play a part of a hymn and Aunt Helen will "play name that tune". She not only recalls the title of the hymn but all of the words.
Linda carried reminders to us of Aunt Helen's memories of each of us. She brought reminders of how we are still loved by our Aunt. She shared stories of our connections to Aunt Helen with her grandchildren. I recalled the marriage advice Aunt Helen had given me. That advice was that, 'There is no greater gift than a loving wife, no greater curse than a nagging one". There has not been a month to pass of my 30 years of marriage when I have not thought about that advice. Has that 1/2 joking bit of advice changed my marriage? I know it has. My husband probably has no idea how much influence my aunt has had on our marriage. As I get older I like to think I am becoming more of a gift and less of a curse.
Aunt Helen was very much present at the reunion.

So much of who I am comes from this place...this family. The strings may have gotten long but the ties are still incredibly strong. Each of us so very different, and yet so very much alike. It is that "root" thing. As we get older we seem to have more "surface roots".  The fundamental truths of our family have become more apparent.
This is where my peace of heart lives, in these truths and in this family.